Forget homohop, meet lesbo hop. Originally published at the New Statesman.
God Des and She holding non-suggestive objects
You haven't lived until you've seen a lesbian hip hop duo rap about best pussy eating technique to three hundred excited women. Best known for their appearance on lesbo-drama TV series The L Word, hip hop act God Des and She enchanted the crowd at long-standing London queer night Bar Wotever last week. Bringing a signature mix of rapped swagger and ovaries-busting soul - “You and me together we got that vibe/Plus I'm a ten and your girl is a five” - they ensured there wasn't a dry seat in the house.
Yet despite being regarded as queer hip hop “pioneers” by EvOn, another lesbian rapper and writer of the LGBT Underground blog, many in the audience of dykes, queers and assorted misfits had only vaguely heard of them before the show. Read More.
To celebrate National Poetry Day, here are some of my favourite feminist slam poems. They are clever, moving, amazing, and about as far from the GCSE poetry anthology as you can get, thankfully. Some are long but they are totally worth the investment. Enjoy bubbelehs, enjoy.
*trigger warning*
Staceyann Chin - My first period. Also features a haiku about George Bush. "Even Jesus had to pass through a punani Angels and messengers aside Mary had to lend passage to god Or them Christians might still be Jews Waiting for a christ that was stuck up the ass of some man Who thought he could do what little girls do Every day against our wishes"
Andrea Gibson - Letter to a playground bully from Andrea (age 8)
"I am not 'always crying',
I am just thawing outside the lines."
Sonya Renee - What women deserve
"Women do deserve better, Women deserve choice"
I think I have linked to this on the blog before, but it is just so great.
Alix Olson - Subtle sister
"So I take back the whispers, the cute, mute act and the high pitched giggles, Yeah I take them back I won't avoid your stare evade your step Nothing of that kind, I won't help you help me victimise the only space that's mine."
(Unfortunately this video is cut with other footage - but its the only reasonable version I can find on Youtube).
And finally:
Mindi Nettifee - For young women who don't consider themselves feminists (the last nerve)
Who have I missed out? Please share your favourite feminist poems below!
The twitter war against @mocktheweek has finally ended. It could most closely be described as akin to a battle in which cannonballs are fired at a person who, protected by an imaginary brick wall, simply denies that the cannonballs, the wall, gravity, or any form of Newtonian law exists.
The social media face of Mock the Week, known only as "@mocktheweek", refused, in the face of all reasonability, to accept that there is anything sexist about a panel show in which women comedians are a: rarely booked and b: hate appearing when they do get booked. I can't be bothered to explain, again, why it is very, very, very, very, very sexist, so I will simply recall here that the all-female episode of Whose Line is it Anyway was one of the funnier ones. Just saying. Four comics who were women did comedy on a stage and it was funny. Anyway, if you are confused about why Mock the Week is very, very, very, very, etc, sexist, go on twitter, search 'mocktheweek', and scroll down the exchanges. I'm not linking.
Anyway, and instead, let us feast our ears on a compendium of comedians who, if they were men, would probably be Mock the Week regulars/would by now have their own road-shows and a pile of free money gifted to them by the BBC:
1. Isy Suttie:
In exhibit A (above, literally just above) we see a comedian making funny jokes to a large audience of people who are laughing. That comedian happens to be a woman, and therefore either a: will not be booked to appear on Mock the Week, or b: will not appear on Mock the Week because it is a particularly nasty atmosphere for women comedians - see Jo Brand.
2. Sarah Kendall [Edit 22/1/12: transphobia warning at around 11.30 mins]
One of my favourite comedians who probably won't ever be on Mock the Week. Unlike Russell Howard, who gets to be a regular in virtue of having a real penis, probably. I hope Sarah Kendall does go on it, but if she is her jokes will probably get edited out in favour of some look-at-me-mummy-i'm-clever-now nonsense.
3. Shazia Mirza
Bit of an obvious choice, but also, why the hell doesn't she already have her own show?
4. Josie Long
Pretty well known and stuff. Pretty funny. Probably hasn't been on Mock the Week, and I hope she doesn't go on it. I have a suspicion her style would get lost in the celebratory cockfest. She's spot on with the bit about turning 'go on then, make me laugh' guests into 'I like drinking water out of sponges' guests.
5. Here, to finish, is a trailer from the Funny Women awards of 2010. What's that about female comedians just 'not existing'?
Oh hi there. I am now back from my sojourn in San Francisco. In honour of a return to the mundane, here are some interesting bits and pieces I've picked up over the last month.
Heart playing Crazy On You live in 1977. Everything about this is incredible. The intense fingerpicking solo intro, the singer's voice, the lead guitarist in open chested white silk blouse and wiggling snake hips, the bit where they unexpectedly all start singing together, the triple harmonized solo, and to top it all THE FUCKING HIGH KICK AT THE END. I can't get over how great this is, must be one of the greatest performances of all time. I have to watch it again right now.
Jenna Marbles chats shit for a while, on the topic of "How to trick people into thinking you're good looking". I like her unashamed brashness. Recommended to me by a friend I made in San Francisco: http://youtu.be/OYpwAtnywTk
Cool thing about underrated actresses: click here!
I met the author of this blog about male submission the other day at a sex discussion group (I'm that cool) at the Center for Sex and Culture, also run by Carol Queen, who is clearly a fixture of this sex-positivity theme. Here it is: click! Warning: NSFW, depending on your place of work.
Can't wait to see Meryl Streep taking on Thatcher in this. Who wants to come and see it with me?
Finally, it just popped up on my twitter that Brody Dalle has given birth.
Awesome/Outrageous:
One of the only articles I have ever read where I agreed with every word more than life itself. This is a victory for common sense, feminism, standards in academia, and not reporting slavishly when someone is clearly wrong. Have already tweeted it, but here again: click here
Lady Gaga's new video: You and I. Awesome only for the presence of Lady G in drag, then Lady G in drag making out with Lady G not in drag. Outrageous outfits, some of them. I would recommend watching it with the sound off.
I can't even begin to deal with the stupidity of this: http://www.springerlink.com/content/w6t8284q7123w214/. Please pay particular attention to the last sentence of the abstract. If it makes you want to run through the streets screaming and banging your forehead with an anvil, well, me too.
*Comments like: 'Yeah you may be in San Francisco but why are you sitting in your hostel blogging and waiting for your laundry when you could be out having fun?' will not be appreciated. Or even acknowledged.
This is who I actually want to be: Fran Lebowitz. Just - famous for being a bit dilettante, not writing a book, and wearing bespoke suits. What an amazing woman.
